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On Meeting People

December 14th, 2007 § 1 comment

When you are in the moments of birth of any relationship, platonic or sexual, it seems like you want to tell the other person as much information as possible. Squeezing past, present and future into every declaration, such as, “Oh, I will come see your play because my plans to go to Saint Donat to ski with my friends that I paint with got cancelled.”It is at those times you are searching for connections and things to have in common, things that will help you both relate to each other, so you will make a run down of music you enjoy, or films you love or hate, maybe even discuss friends you have in common or a traumatic high school experience. Sometimes it is nice to take walks together because the pace of footsteps can slow down or speed up depending on the course of the conversation. You want to know everything about the person next to you. Are they a dog or cat person? Being one or the other is often of high importance. Also, when you are walking beside each other, eye contact is voluntary and doesn’t happen as often as sitting in a restaurant or on a couch. Eye contact is important, but you don’t want to assume a stare, which can often happen if you are excited to be around the person. I often laugh too much in these situations and cup my face with my hands because it can get embarrassing to keep talking with such fervor. I work myself up to a frenzy and jump around smiling, flailing my arms around.

And then it happens, a key question is asked about even the most assumingly inconsequential thing, but the other person answers in a way that makes you furrow your brow and grin because it is the answer that scores a near perfect on an exam.

Like if someone was to tell me that the Celestine Prophecy bothers them, or that they love Francoise Hardy. These things can matter, because then it goes deeper. What if they discovered Hardy through an obsessions with French culture and researched Gainsbourg? And then in school they studied Sartre and became clichéd Francophiles? This could mean they are assholes, but if coupled with other characteristics, it can be a nice combination. I am making myself seem like quite a superficial person, but it is often superficial when two people first meet. It is those first Q&A’s that can lead to the synergy we all long for, we all hope for! And then sometimes you can be standing waiting for the streetcar,

“Is that a Reinforced record?

“Yeah” my eyes lit up.<

“Nebula II?”

“Oh yes yes yes!”

“I love Reinforced. So nice to see someone be into that shit.”

“So nice to meet someone into the good jungle music!” I would exclaim.

This would then become a potential friendship, because there is not many people that listen to drum n bass in Toronto, and even less listen to the drum n bass I like, and even a smaller portion that would know track names and another fraction of that would be into buying those specific records. This leaves me with a very small chance of such an encounter. Sometimes storytelling requires a bit of lying, and I confess this has never really happened to me, but something similar did years ago on the subway and it led to a good lay.

We are all full of stories, and there are moments and people we can tell specific stories to, maybe sometimes we stumble upon a person that fits a listener for a specific story we have been wanting to tell, or maybe they fit our story at the time. I find it difficult to gauge why some people become friends at certain times and not others, even if they have known each other or known of each other for a long time. I have worked with a girl for over a year now. I don’t always see her. We ran through the initial friendship Q&A frenzy at a work party early on; the conclusion was very favorable to us becoming friends, even good friends, but it never really corresponded, until one night she was very drunk swiveling red wine in her glass, and confessed,

“I think you are so cool. And I tell everyone that we bonded over fonts and they laugh. But fonts are key. Fonts are so important.”

I laughed in agreement.

From that moment on, I knew I could tell her my feelings about wanting to be friends with her too and how much joy typography bonding had brought me. Sitting in the booth of our workplace, telling each other more things and we would gasp and “Omg, me too.” at almost every statement. This repartee ended with a prolonged embrace, and us promising each other that we have to hang out together and party. This occurred because of the information we both barraged each other with. If it hadn’t been for that initial excitement of a bourgeoning friendship we might have not become such friends.

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§ One Response to On Meeting People

  • […] You know that moment when you meet someone and then all of you time opens up? How does that happen? What was the time full of before? As easy as time comes, when that someone leaves, time also punishes you with gaping holes that you can’t seem to fill with anything that works. Everything you do is just a distraction, a physical distraction to the scenes in your mind, replaying moments, finding new moments to remember, to torture you with. […]

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