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Sputnik Sweetheart

November 24th, 2008 § 0 comments

We each have a special something we can get only at a special time in our life. Like a small flame. A careful, fortunate few cherish that flame, nurture it, hold it as a torch to light their way. But once the flame goes out, it’s gone forever. What is it like—on the other side?*

I’ve had the same dream many times. The pain is always the same when I wake up. The longing for that something. The details differ but the single theme doesn’t waiver. When do you know that the flame has gone out? When you realize it’s not there anymore? But dreams can play tricks on you, make you see things that aren’t there. Make each world appear more true than the other. How do you decipher which one to believe? Can you believe in both simultaneously?

Sputnik Sweetheart reminded me of The Double Life of Veronique and also of Persona. I want to watch and read the books with this identity split. With the half somewhere else, left behind, and the half that is tangible, or realized as tangible in the present moment. Why is the half we yearn for always there and we here? Is that half over there thinking of us here? We always seem to think, No.

Are we afraid to admit the flame has been caught by the wind because we are part of that flame? We created it, the synergy did. So, ok, we admit it is gone, where are we?

Is there a place for me over there?*

What are you doing on the other side? Without me? Cheerful smiles that only whitening toothpaste can provide. I’ve been told my teeth are big, supposedly it’s the Jew in me. When do you give up? When your cheeks start hurting so much and the inside of your mouth is dry and rubbing against your gums?

You started this chaotic journey, he writes among indecipherable words on eight pages and nineteen definitions for the word “double” as provided by dictionary.com. He also writes that doppelgänger was the first definition he thought of when trying to write me. Similarly, it is her possible doppelgänger Miu sees in Sputnick Sweetheart, and Veronique sees in Double Life of Veronique.

Where is yours (right now)?


*from Sputnik Sweetheart – italics from the original text

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Hi hi... your words mean everything to me.