he is with someone else. I have had this feeling for a while now, but I think he cares for someone else. I wouldn’t mind this so much if he was honest about it. I have been with others. But he insists, always, that he can never be with anyone but me (even if he has done his share of going back on that), he still insists. We have not talked in a few days. We didn’t end with anything finite on the phone, other than him being upset over something again. I wrote him a long email, baring myself to him, and txt’d him that I even wrote him an email. I have not heard from him since. I know he has been online. I know nothing has happened to him, other than maybe his heart.
Five years eh? I hate relationships. I always have. It’s always up and down I’ve noticed. My entries go from ‘so in love’ to ‘why doesn’t he notice me?’ I’ve been told it’s his Asberger’s. Maybe it is. Maybe I could accept it, if he just co-operated. I am a woman with needs. I am not laid back. I am not one to take it easy. That is who I am. I am all of me, all the time.