the first photo of me in 2009. photo: j.c.
I have never written one of these retrospective reviews of my year past, and it makes no sense to do it now. There are still so many scars I can’t stop picking at, can’t stop perpetually causing them to come back, pussing and leaving the wound exposed deeper and deeper. But I do plan on travelling to a warm place with an ocean full of salt water in 2009. I want to try surfing. I want to try everything in 2009. 2008 started with possibly one of the worst New Year’s possible and I should have known then. I did know then. I had some of my wildest fantasies come true this year. I also had some of the prophecies I predicted in 2006 come true. I guess the pay off is one extreme with another? The pinaccle of it all was March 29, 2008 when Bass Go Boom went down in history as the jam of jams.
I started writing that novel in the summer. I started and stopped, started and stopped because unlike Erica Jong, I didn’t think I could bare myself or my ideas in such crude and shameless ways, even though I am so unbearably crude and shameless. 2008 made me lots of new friends, lots of new friends that I am totally disconnected from now because getting fucked up lost its appeal this summer. A lot of things lost their color this year. I just want the people in my life that I love, that I really love, and that was easy to do with quitting Facebook. No more weak ties being reinforced by mass messaging and updating.
This year also brought an unexpected surprise, the first Bang Face Weekender, that turned into the best weekend, the best time of my life. I had no idea what to expect, I had (one of the few times!) a completely open mind. I was splitting open for the experience even when I was ambivalent while getting on the plane. I got to lose myself in artists I have loved for years but never saw live, artists I knew of but had no idea they were that phenomenal in a small seaside town in England – Luke Vibert, Squarepusher, Kode 9, Mala, u ziq, Aba Shanti-I Soundsystem, Shitmat, Krome & Time, Plaid doing an oldskool junglism set, Altern-8, Jackson and his Computer Band and so many other ridiculously amazing acts. I got to experience rave like I always dreamed of experiencing when I was a youth. Going to big parties, imagining the size and vibe it would have been in the early 90′s when I was too young. Imagining how it would have been in England. And I got to! I got to experience the ultimate rave fantasy with phenomenal music and no trance or other shit. Talking with Krome about the ghetto that is Etobicoke, since he grew up there too. Being too nervous at the opportunity to watch Luke Vibert’s VJ do his thing. Meeting u ziq and being more awkward than Tina Fey. I could never stop the instances. During Squarepusher, the final act, mini glowsticks started falling from the ceiling. Coupled with being totally out of my mind, crying at the unbelievably outrageous Squarepusher set, there it was: the best moment of my life. J held me for a long time. I couldn’t stop crying. During Squarepusher he tried to introduce me to some people, but I just couldn’t. The culmination of Bang Face took over me.
When I came back to Toronto, back from hearing dubstep on a proper system for the first time. I lost my mind and became totally obsessed with it. Even started playing dubstep at my night, which I started to play out the drum n bass that you can’t hear out at a regular club night. It inflitrated all of me. I played the best set at Sensoria in November. We are going to make the city wet for the ultimate experience with our jams in 2009.
I want to fall in love with life again. I want others to fall in love with my output. I want to not sit on my output unfinished, unpolished, weighing me down, slouching my shoulders inwards because they can’t open up from all the unfinished business. All the unresolved issues, emotions, experiences, paintings, videos, drawings, recipes, writings, stories, photos, patterns, people.
All I want for 2009 is resolve. Just resolve.
Everything will fall into place after that. I know.
MY TOP MUSIC FOR 2008.
DRUM N BASS Mp3: D-Bridge – Wonder Where [Non Plus +]
D-Bridge came to Toronto in May for his first solo gig. Barely anyone came. The few that did knew how special it was when he rinsed the sounds that ate the universe. The intricate deep bass that you can’t just resolve as background party noise. D-Bridge is changing drum n bass. The first time I heard this song, I listened to it on repeat for two hours and cried my eyes out. He sings on it and it trumps all the volumes of poetry about love and heartbreak I’ve ever read.
*Silly silly gloat (something I never do!): We got him totally partied up, and even though I have interviewed Bizzy B in his attic, and got to hang out with Pete Parsons, I still got total awe when D-Bridge was txt’ing me to hang out when he was in town.
DUBSTEP Mp3: Ricardo Villalobos – MINIMOONSTAR (Shackleton Remix) [Perlon]
Although I have had my wee ventures into the world of techno, specifically after hearing Monolake last year, I didn’t think much of it. Then this tune came along and solidified how much techno influenced dubstep can crawl between your cells and make those proverbial sensations physical.
FUNKY HOUSE Mp3: Paleface feat. Kyla – Do You Mind (Crazy Cousinz RMX) [Maximum Bass]
The first time I heard this was my first time tuning into Rinse.FM this summer and two songs this came on and I was already late for work but I couldn’t leave and instead got on MSN and started writing gibberish in excitement. Turns out this song came to be one of the biggest hits of the year. OBVIOUSLY. This tune is the ultimate ‘I’m gonna dance until I can’t feel my face anymore’. We played this out all summer and fall more than anything this year in total. I don’t mind if you don’t mind. UK Funky House is taking over the world, even Kode 9 says so.
SET OF THE YEAR Mp3: Instra:mental Live with MC Lowqui, Star Warz, Belgium June 2008
Instra:mental came back out in 2007 with Comanche under Paul Rico’s (SRD) wing and fucked with the whole scene. Then D-Bridge got a hold of them and made magic. Now Commix, Lomax, Marcus Intalex and the bunch are all running the minimal, glitchy hardstep. This set is the perfect representation of what needed to happen to drum n bass to make it vibe again. This set is everything that is going to make waves in 2009. The moment I got a hold of this set, I freaked out and sent it out to people I hoped would appreciate it. They did. You should too. Musical alchemy.
*and it was during this set I discovered my fave song of 2008, Wonder Where.
Susana quoted this on her blog:
Writers are always selling somebody out.
Joan Didion
&I love you.
& Obama won even if we Canadians missed the mark & voted Conservative.
& my fave blog of 2008.
[...] was the clincher at Bangface 2008 was that I was exposed to so much new music, “I got to lose myself in artists I have loved [...]
Yesterday, while I was at work, my sister stole my iphone and tested to see if it can survive a 30 foot drop, just so she can be a youtube sensation. My apple ipad is now broken and she has 83 views. I know this is entirely off topic but I had to share it with someone!