I’ve lost my ability to write coherently. I’ve lost my ability to express my thoughts coherently. No! Ha! Actually I’m realizing that I just cannot and have not yet been able to express what is inside me and the anxiety is growing within me. So, no blog posts, just 140 characters on Twitter. Language is giving me anxiety. I know there is other ways for me to get around what I am living right now, but I don’t know what that is because I don’t have the language to go there. I want to go to there. I really want to be a better writer. Like, actually, a good one.
I have been sucked up by a self-referential spiral and so I just think about words and structures and concepts. I think about Polish (my first language) and my relationship to it and then my relationship to English – then the coalescing of the cultural contributions to my identity that form based on those languages.
